Parents tend to worry when their babies and children under 5 aren’t eating enough. They wonder whether their little ones have any nutritional deficiencies and they get discouraged when they see them push the veggies around on their plate or when they skip a whole meal entirely! Then later, in the pre-teen years, they worry about a host of other things. They’re emptying the fridge, eating too much, and their bodies are changing. They get panicked when they notice their daughter or son eating junk food in secret (they might even find candy wrappers under their bed!).

But these situations are all part of how children develop a relationship with food and their body image. And according to how we react as parents—even when we don’t realize it—we can help or hurt this relationship. Sometimes it can be subtle, like when we fall victim to social pressure to be thin. We live in a society where diet culture is king. We might say, “I’ve had enough! I’m going to hide the chips high up in the cupboard so I don’t eat too many,” while our child is playing on the floor beside us. We all know that our little humans are like sponges, absorbing everything around them to form their own opinions about food. Add that on to the thin princesses they see on TV or muscular superheros in their colouring books.

You’re the parent. From the very beginning (even as early as 6 months!) you can start with simple behaviours and statements that will help your children resist the pressure to be thin, while helping them develop a positive body image and healthy relationship with food.

In your day-to-day, you might not notice if you’re encouraging unhealthy eating habits or body dissatisfaction in your children. Here’s a table with some examples of positive things to say around your child, and things that are best to avoid. Remember that if you’ve already done or said unhelpful things, don’t feel guilty. It happens to the best of us—all parents say things without thinking or let their emotions get the best of them. We’re human after all. You haven’t “screwed up” your kids. So be gentle with yourself—you’re doing your best!

1. that you can use to play and move.
2. Explain that the people your child sees on TV and in magazines do not have “normal” bodies.
3. Expose your child to body diversity: show them books or photos of people with different body shapes to show them that one size doesn’t fit all!
4. Don’t hide food in your pantry. Leave it out for your child to see and eventually the food will become less attractive to them.
5. Offer foods like cookies, chocolate and chips to your child more often. You don’t need to offer them every day, but at least have some at home to make them less attractive, so they become more “equal” to other foods.
6. Avoid commenting on your body or other people’s bodies in front of your child. Even just a, “Oh wow, you lost weight!” can influence their perception of body image. And after all, weight loss shouldn’t be praised! Sometimes it’s a sign of a physical problem or illness.
7. Encourage your child to eat when they’re hungry and don’t make a fuss if they don’t clean their plate.
8. Serve meals family-style. That way, your little one can dish up what they want and how much they have an appetite for!
9. You can set limits when your child seems to be particularly fond of a food. If they ask for another chocolate cookie after eating 2 or 3, you can tell them that they’ve had enough and they can have more tomorrow. But do the same thing for all food groups. You can also tell your child to slow down if they’re on their fourth helping of broccoli.
10. Encourage your child to be physically active because it’s fun. If mommy runs, it’s because she enjoys it, not because she wants to lose weight. If daddy cycles, it’s for pleasure, not to lose belly fat.